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I went to a 3 day retreat at work to spend time figuring out who I want to be and what I truly need. Below are some thoughts that I want to remember...

-Being a good mother is the most important job I'll have. If I fail my kids, nothing else matters.
-If there were no Clement, there would be no Koon Wah.
-There are 5 balls that we constantly juggle...work, family, wellness, spirit and friends. One is made of rubber and 4 are glass. The glass ones will break if you drop them, but the rubber one will bounce right back.

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." - Elbert Hubbard

"We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do small things with great love." - Mother Teresa

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else, is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pssst. Kid number 2 is coming in Oct.

"Discipleship is not limited to what you can comprehend- it must
transcend all comprehension. Plunge into the deep waters beyond your
own comprehension, and I will help you to comprehend even as I do.
Bewilderment is the true comprehension. Not to know where you are
going is the true knowledge. My comprehension transcends yours. Thus
Abraham went forth from his father and not knowing whither he went..
He trusted himself to my knowledge, and cared not for his own, and
thus he took the right road and came to his journey's end. Behold,
that is the way of the cross. You cannot find it yourself, so you
must let me lead you as though you were a blind man. Wherefore it is
not you, no man, no living creature, but I myself, who instruct you
by my word and Spirit in the way you should go. Not the work which
you choose, not the suffering you devise, but the road which is
clean contrary to all that you choose or contrive or desire- that is
the road you must take. To that I call you and in that you must be
my disciple. If you do that, there is the acceptable time and there
your master is come. " (luther)

Patty: not sure if you'll read this anythime soon, but if you do...i think you're on the right track in regards to money/offering. kinda too much to write out here. I'll talk to you about it sometime.

I used to complain that while taking care of Kyrios that I had little to no time to fellowship with peers.  But even then, I was still in community, in fellowship with other believers. Yes there was a significant age difference. And yes there was a significant difference in maturity, but now I long to be in some sort of fellowship. Some sort of community. Where to God? Where do you want us to be? Is it Spring? Do we just have to try harder? To lead? Or is it time to pack up and wander in the desert a bit longer? 

3 days of sickness and 2 sleepness nights...i finally understand. I have been so busy with and consumed by work that I forgot how to be still. Even when my body wouldn't go on, my mind was still racing. Trying to be the perfect worker, best mom and wife left no room for the Holy Spirit. I just can't believe that God loves me sooo much that He went through all this to make me stop for a heart-to-heart with Him. I missed Him so much, missed knowing that I can give all my burdens to Him, missed serving Him, missed praying for people. It always amazes me how patient and faithful He is, looking for that 1 lost sheep.

This past year has really been a walk of faith for me. Not knowing when or where, just receiving and resting. But I think it's time to care for and help heal people again. I want Graydon to see Christ in us...in our hands and hearts. Thank You God for teaching me that it's not about what people appreciate or remember, or even about what is fair to men. It is about living our lives in worship and as living sacrifices to our loving God who floods us with His grace.

My life is Yours. I will follow. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.